Unforgivable
by purple-papoose
Summary: A look into Snape's mind about James Potter.About how he hates him...not. Drabble.not slash.pls r&r.


**disclaimer-** checked the transfer of rights for hp to me has not gone through yet. so for now nothing  
is mine.  
i live in a fanatsy world.

i love james potter..however this story sounds..*i really do*

**To Potter**

I've always hated you. From the first day I saw you I hated you. Through the years my reasons for hating you have changed but in no way has my hate diminished. If nothing else it has increased.

The first day I saw you or rather met you. You immediately rejected me. You had the unmistakable look of being well-cared for and adored. Your family was wealthy beyond my imagination, pureblood, respected and mostly loving. Where as mine was poor, half blood, cruel and frankly despicable.

You were arrogant, cocksure and out-going. Confidence leaked out of every pore of yours. Loved by teachers and favorite amongst students.

I was scruffy, surly and quite. The weird child. Not particularly recognized by the teachers and a reject amongst all the students.

You were Gryffindor. I was Slytherin.

But I had lily. But the sorting took her away from me, towards you. To Gryffindor. Not immediately but it was inevitable.

Your first night was comfortable, blissful. Mine was anxious and full of worry.

Even that reject, pitiful excuse for a wizard Pettigrew got acceptance from you but I got to be the object of your ridicule. The butt of all your jokes and pranks.

Thanks to you Potter…humiliation became my second name.

Where you had friends or rather admirers from all houses…I had trouble finding friends in my own house. You turned me into that much of a loser.

And then fifth year arrived. You couldn't leave the one thing I had, could you? Lily, the reason I could get through the pathetic life I had. Out of all the girls in Hogwarts you found only my Lily to pursue?

You showed off with your quiditch skills, but did you have to show off for Lily?

The sinking feeling and anxious nights I got whenever I thought Lily smile at your whenever I thought I saw Lily smile at your antics or that delicate blush she got when you proclaimed you undying love for her.

You had all the girls throwing themselves at you but you only wanted the one that meant the most to me in my life.

And then my 'worst' memory…it caused me to loose my Lily, only because of you. Just because Black was bored you decided to play with me to amuse him. In my embarrassment and humiliation I uttered the unforgivable word to Lily. That was my breaking point. And again because of you. That was day I lost Lily. I never got a chance to take those words back. You have no idea of how much I wanted to. Obviously you never made such a mistake in your perfect life.

On top of that you used my own spell on me and people liked it. They admired you for the ingenious new idea to humiliate me.

If I would have used that I would be labeled a dark arts fanatic. The evil greasy git. Which I already was labeled again thanks to you.

Then you got credit for saving my life. You were just saving all your own stinking skins, if that heinous prank of yours would have been exposed people would have come to know the real you. But yet again you got to be the hero and I was expected to drool over your shoes in gratitude.

Do you know how many times I had to hear the word 'ungrateful' because of you?

Seventh year. Despite you being a juvenile delinquent you got the glory of being Head Boy, Quiditch captain wasn't enough for Golden Boy.

And again Potter, the hero got the girl, Head Girl…was no other than Lily Evans.

To my utter dismay she started dating you. She fell for your charms like a million others. I had little ray of hope that she would see you for what you were but that also got extinguished when she married you. She loved you. She chose you.

Married Potter. Married. She became your life partner…lost to me forever.

And you couldn't even protect her. Instead you leave behind the proof of your love, your son. With her eyes. Forever to mock me.

You died a Hero, protecting your family, sacrificing yourself.

I died a villain, protecting my love, sacrificing myself.

And Potter you know what I hate most about you?

Is that I that cannot hate you. Because you really loved her. You never thought twice about sacrificing yourself to save her. And for that potter I cannot hate you. Underneath it all you were decent. Noble.

I loathe you. I despise you. I abhor you.

But I don't hate you.

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how is it...it just popped into my head while reading deathly hallows...thought i'll post it.

please review and make my day. *smiles innocently*

toodles.

love cherry


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